Living Sober Sucks
United States
Mark
For me, the answer is YES. Does my life suck? NO. Please allow me to expand on these answers.
I liked getting drunk, smoking pot, doing narcotics and taking the occasional pill. I liked getting high. Knowing that I will never catch a buzz again sucks. Knowing that I will never drink again sucks.
At almost 5 years sober (4yrs, 11mos), I can honestly say that many areas of my life are far better, and I don’t ever want to go back to drinking. I respect myself and my body more. I respect my mind and my willpower more. I have closer friendships. I don’t have debt and unnecessary drama in my life.
The areas of my life that still suck are things like: lowered self-confidence, frustration at self-imposed limitations, loneliness, boredom or depression. My problems, self-pity and depression like to tempt me into drinking again. But I know that drinking will not fix my problems, cure my depression or relieve self-pity. It would just make things worse.
So not ever being able to get high, buzzed or drunk again sucks, but the rest of my life doesn’t suck. This is a very strange position to be in.
The reason I am touching on this subject is because I have been asked this question by quite a few people lately.
I have been pleasantly surprised by the quality of people I have met through this site. I have discovered that there are a lot of brilliant, intelligent and wise drunks in the world. They are smart, caring people who just drink too much for their own good. These people have confirmed my belief that, “All drunks are not jerks. Some are actually pretty damn smart.”
Why the title
Living Sober Sucks?
Regardless of whether you’ve been drinking for only a short time or for years, it is going to suck when you first sober up. Many things will improve in your life but some will not. There will be added challenges and struggles that you will have to face - sober. This is not to say that it isn’t worth doing. I believe that your chances of maintaining sobriety and learning to enjoy living sober are heightened by accepting these realities.
Here’s how it’s going to suck: If you have been using alcohol as a crutch to avoid or alleviate stress, drinking for the pursuit of pleasure, or misusing alcohol to free yourself of inhibitions, it is really going to suck when you eliminate this crutch from your life. You are going to have to handle stress, seek pleasure and face social situations completely sober. That can be scary, tough and it will suck.
Reality is the enemy of drunkenness. Living sober will improve your chances of enjoying a happier, healthier and more engaged life. (Watch video)
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Welcome "Newbies"
If you are in the early stages of sobriety or are just starting to think about quitting drinking, then you are a "Newbie" and I want to welcome you to the hilarious world of sobriety. You’re going to learn all sorts of fun new terms and experience all sorts of fun new sensations during your first 90 days sober.
I do a lot of one-on-one and group recovery work. I have to hold back from laughing out loud when dealing with "newbies". They tell me how wonderful everything is, how great they feel and they wonder why they didn't do this sooner – they’re so excited. Then I ask, "So how long you been sober?" "I’m going on four days, this is great!"
Ya, well fuckin' wait... By next week you won’t be able to sleep. You’ll probably lose your appetite and you’ll have headaches. Let’s not forget that you might get the shits because your digestive system isn’t used to eating good food. Then in about a month when your car won't start, your kids mouth-off, your boss insults you, your spouse gets angry at you, the toilet backs up and your friends want to go out drinking - then tell me how fuckin’ great it is. Because I guarantee that at some point, your mettle will be tested.
But when you make it through some of those tests and your body starts feeling good again, you’ll be so proud of yourself and you’ll know that the early struggles were well worth it. I’m not trying to talk you out of living sober. I would rather be honest, that way you know what to expect and you won’t get disenchanted. This will help you take control of your urges and reduce your chances of relapse. You think living sober sucks? Relapsing and starting over again sucks a lot more.
All I can do is hope that in some way, the sharing of my experiences will help and someone else’s life will be better than they ever imagined.
Forget Recovery
Reinvent yourself!
Recovery is the accepted or recognized term for us drunks, as in: “I’m in recovery; I’m a recovering alcoholic, Recovery Program, etc.” For simplicity and to avoid confusion, I use the word recovery in my book. But this term makes me uncomfortable. Someone recovers after surgery, an accident or from a hangover.
I wasn’t recovering from any of those things during my sobering up process, I was reinventing myself.
This is why I prefer to think I'm “Reinvented,” because I’ve had to reinvent myself as a sober person. I had to discover ways to live without alcohol, uncover lost feelings and deep desires. I found new passions, activities and rewards. I had to radically change my view regarding how I respect alcohol, other people and how I approach social dealings.
The only thing I am recovering from is my own mistakes. And just because I no longer drink doesn’t mean I don’t make mistakes. I still fuck-up plenty of things, but at least I’m sober when I make those mistakes.
I will continue to use the term recovery – it’s accepted and less confusing. But in reality, I have reinvented myself. That’s all I did.
Just a few words:
A scientific study regarding the effects of alcohol on speech has been released by M.I.T. - Milwaukee Institute of Teachin’. As B.A.C. (Blood Alcohol Content) increases, the following words become more difficult to say.
Words that are DIFFICULT to say at .05-.09 B.A.C.:
1. Innovative
2. Preliminary
3. Proliferation
4. Cinnamon
Words that are VERY DIFFICULT to say at .10-.16 B.A.C.:
1. Specificity
2. Anthropomorphism
3. Prestidigitator
4. Transubstantiate
Words that are IMPOSSIBLE to say at .17-.25 B.A.C. (DRUNK):
1. No thanks, no more booze for me, I have to drive.
2. Sorry you're not my type.
3. No I can’t,,, I'm married.
4. Good evening officer. Isn't it a lovely night for driving?
5. Sorry I'm not interested in fighting you.
6. No one wants to hear me sing karaoke.
7. Thank you for asking, but I won’t make any attempt to dance as I have no coordination and I’d hate to make a fool of myself.
8. No thanks, I'm not hungry.
9. I must be going home now, as I have to work in the morning.
Okay, so this is a joke. We drunks have to laugh at oureslve's once in a while.
Getting drunk is a choice (legally speaking):
I interviewed a Defense Attorney for this article. My question to him was, “Can alcoholism be used as a defense in court?” His answer, “Ha ha. Now that’s funny! Of course it can’t, could you imagine how many millions of cases that would be thrown out of court or would have to be reopened?”
Now keep in mind that this is a Defense Attorney talking – the person who would use ANY excuse they could to get you out of being responsible for a crime.
“Using alcoholism as a defense for one’s own actions doesn’t work. You cannot use the disease of alcoholism to benefit you in any way for being responsible for committing a crime. It (alcohol and alcoholism) can be considered as an element in the commission of committing a crime, but you are still responsible for your own reckless actions. In fact, depending upon the egregiousness of the crime, alcohol may make matters worse. For instance, if you run over and kill a pedestrian with your car you will be charged with reckless driving and then wrongful death in a civil case. But if you are drunk when this occurs, you are going to be charged with a criminal offense; homicide by intoxicated use of a vehicle.”
“Claiming to be an alcoholic or being under the influence of alcohol at the time of the occurrence of a crime may be a mitigating factor in sentencing or a restating of charges. Such as First degree intentional homicide lowered to Involuntary Manslaughter.”
“The law does not see alcoholism as something that you can’t control. You made the decision to drink and regardless of whether you were drunk (or an alcoholic) when committing an offense, YOU are still responsible for your own actions and of course your own decision to drink in the first place.”
I believe that his answer supports my own personal position that alcoholism is a choice. It is your choice to introduce that first drink into your body – what happens after that first drink is in your bloodstream is anybodies’ guess. For the person who has no control over how much alcohol they drink once they start, abstinence is your best course of action (or would it be inaction?).
If the law doesn’t allow the excuse of “I couldn’t help it, I’m an alcoholic” or “I didn’t know what I was doing, I was drunk at the time” why should it be any different when it comes to inappropriate actions, abhorrent or reprehensible behaviors towards other people? Drunk or not, you are still solely responsible for things that occur in your own personal life and relationships.
The temptation and desire to drink may exist, but it is ultimately your choice whether to drink or not drink. There are ways to beat these temptations and reward yourself for the choice to live sober. They are detailed in the book Living Sober Sucks (notice my not so subtle sales pitch?).
Disclaimer: This is not to be construed as legal advice. As with any legal opinion, it is up to the interpretation of the court in a given situation, depending on crime and circumstances.
To Be or Not To Be…
An Alcoholic
Excerpted from the book Living Sober Sucks:
ALCOHOLIC - what a wonderful title to hold. For us problem drinkers, being an alcoholic is a badge of honor. It gives us a sense of being part of an elite group or club. Other drunks welcome us in with open arms. Then, if we stop drinking, our new title allows us membership into another exclusive group - the recovering alcoholics. We’re special, not everyone can be a member of either of these groups but I have been a member of both.
When I was actively drinking, I wasn’t embarrassed to admit to other drunks that I was an alcoholic. After I quit, I had to deal with the stigma of, “He’s a recovering alcoholic,” and people treated me differently. But now, I’m just someone who doesn’t drink. However that stigma keeps some people from being willing to share their struggles. They are worried about the embarrassment that their friends, family or partner will have to endure. Well chances are good that your friends, family or partner is already aware that drinking is causing problems in your life. And which is worse? The stigma of being a recovering alcoholic or letting alcohol run your life?
I believe that the title "Alcoholic" is overused as well as misused. Someone does not have to be clinically deemed an alcoholic to have problems in their life due to drinking. Sometimes people want to belong to this exclusive group to gain sympathy or attention, so they call themselves an alcoholic. Or they like holding this title so others will show them compassion and forgive their behavior. Calling one’s self an alcoholic also allows us the opportunity to offer an excuse for our behaviors such as, "Oh I know I'm such a fuck-up, but I can't help it... I'm an alcoholic." Or, "I can't quit drinking. I've tried but I'm an alcoholic." We often use the title "Alcoholic" so we don't have to accept responsibility for ourselves and our own decisions.
It’s nice to be able to blame something else for our mistakes, indiscretions and failures. “I'm normally not like that, it was the alcohol,” or "I was drunk, I didn't know what I was doing" and "I can't help it, I'm an alcoholic" are great excuses. And the nice part about using alcohol as an excuse, alcohol can’t defend itself.
The harsh reality is that "I'm an alcoholic" is not a valid excuse and you don’t have to be an alcoholic for drinking to adversely impact your life. (continued in book)
Suggested Reading:Reading books has helped keep my mind off of drinking, it has furthered my knowledge and has been helping me become a better person. Here's a list of some books that I suggest reading. They are not directly related to alcoholism or addiction but they have helped me to understand how to accept personal responsibility for my own thoughts and actions. Some are very thought provoking - some are just fun to read. I hope you enjoy them.
"Mistakes Were Made (but not by me)." - Carol Tavris and Elliot Aronson
"How to Win Friends and Influence People" - Dale Carnegie
"Blind Spots" - Madeleine L. Van Hecke
"Blink" - Malcolm Gladwell
"Outliers" - Malcolm Gladwell
"Why We Suck" - Denis Leary
"Why Your Life Sucks and What You Can Do Aout It" - Alan H. Cohen
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If you think this website is useful and entertaining, wait until you read the book. Loaded with great ideas on how to live sober. Just by following one of my strategies in Chapter #13 (The Reward System) you will end up with $300 in the bank.
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My name is Mark Tuschel. I'm not embarrassed to tell you my full name. My family and friends are proud of what I've done - I sobered up on my own. No rehab, no program, no meetings.
I've been sober for more than 4-3/4 years and living sober sucks! I would rather be drinking beer or Scotch right now. I'm honest about my feelings, which is a key part of my philosophies. But I will stay sober - and no one can take that away from me.
This site is dedicated to helping those who want to stop drinking and live a normal life - sober. Be forewarned, I am profane, I say a lot of crude things. I have a wild sense of humor but I do take sobriety very seriously. And I truly care about other drunks. Watch videos to get a better idea of my personality and philosophies.
My dogs keep me sober!

New study reveals drinking linked to alcoholism:
A highly complicated scientific research study; funded by some branch of our government that felt it necessary to spend money profited by bailing out Citi Bank, has retained Dr. Sydney Winebladder, Professor Emeritus of M.I.T. (Milwaukee Institute of Teaching). This research was done over a real long period of time and conducted on a whole bunch of people.
Prof. Winebladder tells us, “Case after case shows irrefutable proof that drinking causes drunkenness, which then appears to lead to alcoholism.” Prof. Winebladder further went on to say; “Do you have any idea how much money we spent on this research? Because I don’t.”
Many people at the Stumble Inn Tavern who were interviewed appeared shaken (not stirred) by this revelation. Bar patron Jim Joblonski said, “What fuckin’ genius figured that out?” Another guest said, “No shit? When did that happen?” A random customer named Karl belched out, “Fuckin’-A right doggie!”
Dawn Bryzckevich, a bartender said, “Ya, well they also say that cancer is linked to death…so what do they know?” Finally, Frank Blutowski, owner of the Stumble Inn said, “Hey you asshole get the fuck outta here before I kick the shit out of you! You’re scaring my customers away.”
Results of this scientific study have a 40% (80 proof) accuracy rate, give or take a few. Prof. Winebladder could not be reached for further comment as he is currently in rehab.
(See, I'm still funny even though I'm sober.)
Living Sober Sucks Paperback & Audiobook
Get a "Double-Shot"
Paperback & Audiobook CD only $12.95
Audiobook is included FREE when purchased through this website. Buy now!
Only $12.95
Free Standard Shipping
Shipped discreetly in unmarked package (just like high-quality porn). You will never be put on any mailing list - no info is retained for marketing or research. Your book is signed, with custom inscription. Just fill in the form when you Buy Securely through PayPal
Get Living Sober Sucks now so you have it available for when you're ready to read it. Because bottoms hit at the strangest times.
Buy the Audiobook on iTunes only $9.99
Published by: CW Media, Inc.
Let rehab come to you!
I came across a very interesting rehab service. They’re called “Safe Passages” and they work as sober escorts and sober companions. I’m a firm believer that to fully enjoy a sober lifestyle you need to be able to engage in all aspects of your world. Safe Passages works with individuals – in their own home environment and as a companion at social events – to learn how to live a normal, fully engaged sober life. I really like their approach and concept. This is NOT a paid endorsement, I truly support their methodology.
This was said to me once (okay, more than once in my life). This statement really stood out to me. It helped me understand how this is what living sober is like. Here’s how I parallel “find your own damn keys” to sobriety:
If someone else keeps finding your keys for you, you’ll never look for them yourself. You’ll always depend on someone else to pull your titty out of the wringer (And having your titty in a wringer hurts!).
Being a drunk is similar to this. You make mistakes, screw things up, argue, get in trouble, whatever, and you consciously, or unconsciously, expect someone else to bail you out. If you are continually bailed out, you won’t ever look for your own keys.
You need to find your own damn keys. This does not mean that I won’t help you. Yes, I will help you look for them; I will ask questions, offer ideas on where to look (like in my book). But you won’t feel responsible for them until you find them yourself. Then, if or when you do find them, maybe you will be more careful with your keys in the future.
That’s what finding sobriety is like. I CANNOT do this for you; I can help, but you will have to do this yourself. Once you find your own keys to sobriety, stick with them. Realize that only you can find them, and only you can lose them again.
Knowing where your keys are may not be that exciting, but it is a very comforting feeling.
More on my Philosophy:
On this website I bare my soul to you. I share all of my feelings of depression, guilt, temptation and anger. However, if you were to meet me in person you would never know that I suffer from these feelings - and more important - you would never know that I don't drink. I share my private emotions and struggles with you here, on my website, because this is the place to do it. I talk openly about the difficulty of trying to live a sober life, and it can be a daily struggle.
I was under the foolish belief that once I stopped drinking I would be happy and everyone would love me more, especially the people that I love. WRONG! Life is not filled with flowers, fuzzy bunnies and the sun does not shine out of your ass just because you quit drinking.
When I first quit drinking I attended a few "meetings" and listened to people say how much better my life will be if I follow the steps and find a higher power. What a crock of shit! Sobriety sucks. Listening to "read the book" rhetoric just doesn't work for me - that's not how real life is - especially if you enjoy drinking. Sobriety is NOT always fun and it's NOT always easy. Just try to live a normal life in America and not drink or be tempted to drink.
I have had to learn how to stay sober using my own willpower. I live a normal, fully engaged life. I don't hide from the real world. I go to parties, concerts, sporting events, etc. - and I stay sober.
The hard part about sobriety is that you have to deal with life and other people as they really are, and you have to do this SOBER! When you're a sober man, huge ugly women stay huge and ugly all night. It’s the same for sober women - fat, dumb drunk guys don’t start looking good as the night goes on. Boring, stupid people get even more boring and stupid. (Continued on About me)
Everyone knows someone who needs to read this book.
Available in major Bookstores. Just ask for it.
Living Sober Sucks
Too cool dogs - Greta & DeeDee
Little Eva(left) Dee Dee (standing) Berkley & Frau Greta (right)
By Mark Tuschel.
Everything doesn’t always turn out for the best, but you can make the best of how things turn out.
A smart person learns from their mistakes, but a smarter person learns from everyone else’s mistakes.
I don’t think I was all that bad, but I didn’t have to deal with me as a drunk... I was me!
This is fucked up!
Alcoholism isn’t a disease, it’s a choice.
I am paying the price today for what I did yesterday.
You never know how you look through someone else’s eyes.
Let go and let gravity! - Some things fly, some don't.
The day I needed help from God, He called in sick.
If you think you have a problem, you probably do have a problem
As long as I do something, something will happen.
Sometimes life is fair and justice is served - be patient.
Life can get better, if you let it, and help it along a bit.
Hey, this may suck, but at least I’m still sober!
I don't care!
I don’t care what YOU want to put into YOUR body. I care about what I put into MY body.
I don’t care if YOU want to drink or do drugs. I care whether I drink or do drugs.
I don’t care how YOU treat people. I care how I treat people.
I don’t care how YOU want to act or live your life. I care how I act and how I live my life.
I don’t care about who YOU hang out with. I care about who I hang out with.
I don’t care how many randoms YOU go home with. I care about who I give my love to.
I don’t care what you might think or say about me. I care what I think and say about me.
It isn’t that I don’t care about people. In fact, I care deeply about the important people in my life and I care about YOU, but I can’t care about what they do or what you do. I have to pay attention to what I do, what I say and how I react to other’s. If friends do things that I don’t like or that aren’t good for me or them, then I must decide if I want to hang out with them. All I can control is ME, and all you can control is YOU. I believe that this attutude will help you pay attention to your own sobriety.
People have done some pretty rotten things to me. I’ve been cheated on, tormented, humiliated, laughed at, belittled, emasculated, lied to, and emotionally hurt. I’ve had people die in front of me, had good friends die in my arms, been robbed, lost money, made money, had my ass kicked and kicked a few asses. I have been loved and hated. While I was a drunk I had probably done some of those same things to people that I love and I must live with that guilt, but that isn’t an excuse or a reason for me to drink. It doesn't matter what you’ve been through or what anyone has ever done to you,,, no one forces you to drink but YOU! There are NO excuses, no “good reasons”, there is no rationalization! I’m not superhuman and I’m nothing special,,,, I’m just honest with myself and with you. Try living sober for a while. What’s the worst that can happen?
Thank you to all of my family and friends that have stuck by me and helped me stay sober. Special thanks to my crazy friend Jhennifer.
Living Sober Sucks
United States
Mark